It was 28 days ago
I came home, hood up
That it couldn't possibly get worse
Because it just couldn't
This was a new low
When I needed a new high
And hope left like
She had never been there before
CliffThere were better things to do than to dwell on the past. Jay knew that. She moved on.
That's what she told herself.
Lies, a voice inside her mind hissed. Lies.
Her bluejay wings were spread out, catching the wind as she sat on the sandstone cliff. There was a sharp rock at the bottom. If hit, instant KO. If she didn't, injuries for life.
One tentative step at a time, she walked closer to the edge. She didn't remember the first time she was here, thinking about this. Or the last time. Or the times in between. She only remembered the pain and the sorrow.
Nick. The testing. The almost-pregnancy. The twenty-four killings. Nick. Nick. Nick.
She could never forget Nick.
As sandstone crumbled beneath her feet, she cringed. Her wings flapped twice, by instinct, carrying her to safety. She paused for just a moment to think. This...was it...and it would be a fitting end for an avian. She could save herself. It was a her choice. If she chose.
One more tenattive step. Closer. Closer.
she may have lost all she had to liars
but that doesn't mean
can steal all she has left
QuestionHinata couldn't help it.
It was those emerald green orbs, those shining eyes that captivated her the most. Followed by his spiky milk-coffee colored hair and the ever-present frown he had on his face.
He definitely didn't know that she ever even had a remote thought of liking him. Kanata always assumed that they were best friends, the two immature toddlers who ran around together since they were little.
And he had always hated that situation. The faster he turned it around to his favor, he concluded, the better off his life would be.
When they were little, they wanted to get married. The thought amused Hinata now, since she knew that he liked that girl who sat in front of him in history class. Fact and closed case.
It never occurred to Hinata that Kanata would have more than friendly emotions towards the girl he had known since forever.
"Hinata," Kanata called for the thousandth time, "why're ya spacin' out?"
Hinata blinked twice. "Huh?" she asked, her midnight purple eyes looking up a
Teardrops Pt. 4Fairy tales
I can only imagine
That I don't have to leave everything behind next month
That I don't need to be afraid of the future
Where I will be alone in a world of predators
And a land of monsters
I don't want to be alone
But I scared the world away
And created more with each pain day
And why should they fade?
Why would they fade?
When I am defined by them?
This is reality
Pain without a soothing ointment
Bloody wounds without bandages
Falling apart like spacecraft in the atmosphere
These are tears
For what everything once was
What clear skies and dark days
Pouring rain and better times
But never coming
One has to say goodbye to forever one day
Because forever is a nonexistent concept
Despite the dream of perfection
And the idea that everything
Is going right and going straight
The world crumbles beneath your unsuspecting feet
And you fall
And you wonder
Teardrops Pt. 3I'm sorry
I failed you
And I failed everyone else too
While I was at it
Now everything is all
TeardropsOne shouldn't take tears lightly
Dripping drops of
I don't want to see again
And nothing in the world is the same
Let GoOne day
I dream to be the girl who doesn’t
Cry herself to sleep at night
Only to be whipped awake
By whatever comes my way
To be the girl
Who doesn’t wish to run
Away for a second chance
To be that girl
Who can do what her dreams
Decide to tell her
And the one
Who can love
But I am the girl who
Cries at night
To sleep for a few sweet
Moments after saving a life
But before waking to the
Sound of yelling and more
And I am the girl who
Wants to start fresh
Somewhere new and away
From this scary place
But no, I can’t be
Dreams, bombed, just a few feet from home
And I can’t love you
And I want to
But you hurt me
But i still
Ever let go
127: It Don't Care, I DoThe road don't care where you run off to
As long as shaking feet fall upon
It's crumbling pavement
And the steady ba-thump ba-thump
Beats like a drum
The road don't care if you're crying
Your broken heart out
And it don't care if you're long gone
It don't matter where you go
As long as you're gone
But I do
I can't live without your beautiful smile
I don't think you know
But tears don't mean a better tomorrow
They just mean you're crying for a better yesterday
LessonsIn forty-seven minutes I will be twenty-one years old and my throat is tight with this notion
that every passing moment is a boat taking me further from the boy on the side of the road.
I am terrified of the swelling tide of time, the ripples I will create,
the creases that will be etched into my face
without the laughter lines I know he would have left and
one day someone will ask me how many siblings I have and I will hesitate
because he will be so distant and I can feel it coming.
I never intended to swim without him, but
I am drowning under the weight of pocket-stone-people,
the ones I love who he has never met and won't ever meet
and its forty-four minutes until I turn twenty-one when I realize the relentlessness of this;
how I will age away from him and I am disgusted with myself, with his ashes on the bookshelf,
with this world that keeps making mistakes that can't be fixed.
Twenty one years old and I am a semi-colon, a shuddering pause on the floor,
remembering the time I broke
Dear Homophobic ParentsDear homophobic parents,
How the fuck do you think it makes me feel
When you walk out of the room crying
Because you can’t stand the thought of something I can’t control.
I’ll tell you that it makes my insides burn.
The living room feels like a closet.
Suffocating, and yet I can breathe fine.
I am choking on the air,
Polluted by your homophobic slurs.
Making uneducated guesses about things you know nothing about.
Someone ought to teach you to look shit up
Before you go about, shouting your false claims to the world.
My very existence is an error.
Some messed up chemical defect that went wrong,
I don’t belong
I am the Titanic,
To you I am supposed to be perfect
I am supposed to be straight, and happy, and fine.
But I am so very far from fine,
When my lungs are filling up with water,
Your words are an ice berg,
And I am sinking fast.
beautiful.i hate my stretchmarks
the vertical the horizontal the ones running miles down my arms
stripes on a circus tent
my body is a freak show
75 cents a ticket
they are the bars on a cage
trapping me inside this prison cell of flesh
(not letting me run away
from all i once was)
reminding me that i am
still that little girl who
was told that she had too
much weight in her stomach
and in her thighs
to be called beautiful
my stretchmarks are the debris from when i tried to collapse upon myself
tried taking up less space
because beautiful is small beautiful is skinny
diets upon diets
because i've been told that
i am only worth the sharpness of my collarbone
why i never wrote you a poem.last summer i tried
to use the words that you fell asleep to
to write you a love song but
every time i tried
my fingers froze up.
i failed the test of describing you
in a paragraph
in a sentence
in a word
there is nothing in my head adequate enough
to describe how you look
on the train station platform
when you smile at me.
i can tell you that
my heart climbs into my throat and
my body prickles with heat and
everything disappears, for just a moment, but
the thing i cannot describe
your mouth caresses my name
like it’s the most beautiful sound
it’ll ever know,
like it understands me perfectly,
you are not made of verses.
you have no meter.
you are not written in stanzas
that i understand
and i find myself captivated
at how beautifully complex
your language is.
you say i’m the mesmerizing one, but, baby,
you've stumped me.
you have left a girl,
a person who wants to build their life
girls that photosynthesizeI.
i asked my mother to buy me sweetener,
and she said "no," and she said "no,
sugar is better for you it's more natural"
so i shrug and i clamp my teeth over
my tongue and sew my mouth closed
and i steal sweet n' low
from the pizza place
my friends watch me pick at my lettuce,
a rabbit-food-lunch that makes me sick
to my stomach, and when i run to the
bathroom during science class they
follow me and ask what i ate for breakfast.
i say "waffles" because they can't know
i won't let them stop me
my therapist asks me if i think i'm sick
and i'm not, i'm strong, but i can't be
not here not here, and the $$$$$$$$
are ticking away as i consider my answer
so i say "yes" and she asks me what
i will become and i say "better"
because that's all they want to hear
my dietitian sets up a rough meal plan
and she says i won't gain weight on it
somehow i trust this woman with art
on the walls of her office and i pick
through the day in corn-kernel bites,
Was Beauty, Now BeastComing back again, the same situation,
Everything has changed due to my perpetration.
Beauty used to be in every word that I speak,
But I spat so much poison, that I can barely squeak!
I used to write a fantasy and now I'm simply dreamless,
I'm struggling with this sickness, it leaves me solely listless,
Or maybe I'm just soulless, my eyes are milky blind,
Where once I saw the beauty; I only see the grind
It should be a crime, a poet falling low,
The world has lost an artist; it gained a rapper though.
But all I have is acid, recriminating bile,
My style is simply vile; I've lost the will to smile.
But maybe if I try, I might get something back.
I guess I need to stop the hate to put me back on track.
Why I DanceI dance as if I am sick,
And the movement is medication.
As if getting up in the morning just to practice is the only motivation
To stay awake.
Because well- worn soft shoes
Feel like home.
The world is cold, and lonely.
But when I dance, there is a fire inside my heart, warm and lively.
I feel like a bird,
Like I am able to fly as high as I want.
Gravity, I taunt
As I laugh in its face.
Because the Earth was never a place
Because leaping across dance floors,
Allows me to soar
Higher than I could in my dreams.
Hard shoe dances make me feel powerful.
Like a raging storm at sea.
My stamps, and clicks are crashing waves.
But I am also the sea breeze.
Strong and graceful.
When I dance I feel like I am trading
Secrets with the universe.
My head is clear,
And my will power is strong.
I am a force to be feared.
On bad days,
The rhythms of hard shoes sound like a heart- beat.
A life line.
And I’ll dance until my feet bleed
Just to feel something.
Because dancing is the only thing
HetaliaxDepressed!Reader:Self-Inflicted AchromaticHetalia x Scary! Depressed! Reader: Self-Inflicted Achromatic
I want to be a person just like you, don't you see?
I want to be a person who is still being "me"
A tired sigh escaped your lips. You were just so damn tired. The other countries said that you, (f/n) or (c/n), was scarier than Russia himself. But of course, you have lived 2500 years with wars and bloodshed always trailing after you. You just really want to be happy. But all those wars and blood imprinted on your mind, you really just released off a dark (a/c) aura and a stoic atmosphere.
It really would be nice but I'm paying a price
'Cause I'd really, not be me and that would not suffice
You asked yourself, "I know my face doesn't show my pain. But isn't it obvious in my eyes? I'm lonely and hurt" You rubbed your numb (s/c) wrist, yesterday's cuts still had a colorless ache to it. You picked your silver knife, twirling it around watching the others argue. The said knife is the one you also use to cut yourself.
A dream which