It was 28 days ago
I came home, hood up
That it couldn't possibly get worse
Because it just couldn't
This was a new low
When I needed a new high
And hope left like
She had never been there before
Teardrops Pt. 4Fairy tales
I can only imagine
That I don't have to leave everything behind next month
That I don't need to be afraid of the future
Where I will be alone in a world of predators
And a land of monsters
I don't want to be alone
But I scared the world away
And created more with each pain day
And why should they fade?
Why would they fade?
When I am defined by them?
This is reality
Pain without a soothing ointment
Bloody wounds without bandages
Falling apart like spacecraft in the atmosphere
These are tears
For what everything once was
What clear skies and dark days
Pouring rain and better times
But never coming
One has to say goodbye to forever one day
Because forever is a nonexistent concept
Despite the dream of perfection
And the idea that everything
Is going right and going straight
The world crumbles beneath your unsuspecting feet
And you fall
And you wonder
Teardrops Pt. 3I'm sorry
I failed you
And I failed everyone else too
While I was at it
Now everything is all
TeardropsOne shouldn't take tears lightly
Dripping drops of
I don't want to see again
And nothing in the world is the same
Let GoOne day
I dream to be the girl who doesn’t
Cry herself to sleep at night
Only to be whipped awake
By whatever comes my way
To be the girl
Who doesn’t wish to run
Away for a second chance
To be that girl
Who can do what her dreams
Decide to tell her
And the one
Who can love
But I am the girl who
Cries at night
To sleep for a few sweet
Moments after saving a life
But before waking to the
Sound of yelling and more
And I am the girl who
Wants to start fresh
Somewhere new and away
From this scary place
But no, I can’t be
Dreams, bombed, just a few feet from home
And I can’t love you
And I want to
But you hurt me
But i still
Ever let go
127: It Don't Care, I DoThe road don't care where you run off to
As long as shaking feet fall upon
It's crumbling pavement
And the steady ba-thump ba-thump
Beats like a drum
The road don't care if you're crying
Your broken heart out
And it don't care if you're long gone
It don't matter where you go
As long as you're gone
But I do
I can't live without your beautiful smile
I don't think you know
But tears don't mean a better tomorrow
They just mean you're crying for a better yesterday
126: Last KissBroken shards of broken hope
Broken hearts and wounds that won't heal
A castle in a dreamland far away
And I can't forget sorrow
Or remember happiness
And I don't remember love
And as the last kiss of winter
Blows through the night
I stand alone
Like a forgotten child
125: LegacyPlease don't forget me
When my time is up
I want to leave a lasting legacy
Not just a fading memory
You are someone's reason to liveShe had skin like a cactus-
could only hurt
anyone who got
she held what
Stripping MeYou may take what you want from me,
Be it my pride or dignity.
You may throw insults at me,
And burn the shredded pieces of my sanity.
You may belittle me, as much as you want,
If only to make your meager life worth living.
But even if you do all that...
No one will protect you when I pull you into the dark.
No one will try to search for you, as my leather ropes tie you down.
No one will hear your screams as metallic screws drive into your face,
Etching an eternal smile, since you'll never leave this place...
"Now then, my dear sweet James, shall we play our favourite game?"
I'd Rather Be DeadYou're always asking me if I had anything worth dying for.
I'll pose the opposite to you and ask you this:
"What is it that you find life to be worth living?"
Is it so interesting to go through each day feeling anxious?
To the point that you feel nauseated enough to collapse.
Is it so joyous to spend each night staring at a blank ceiling,
Hearing the clock tick on toward morning,
And yet you lie awake.
Tired, but awake, emotionless, but awake...
Do you truly get up each day, facing it with optimism.
Or do you look at the news and the state of the world,
And genuinely fear for your safety?
Now, if you were me that you had asked my dear,
I'd tell you quite honestly: That I'd rather be dead.
At least I would not have to hear the white lie inside my head.
That tomorrow will bring me a 'better' day...
But of course, you are welcome to believe that.
it is dark, unfamiliar,
but your fingers seek out his,
and you know then
that you are at home
in his harmony
even if just
he's incendiary, sure.
a veritable (volatile)
molotov cocktail of
watch as he emerges,
ashen-limbed from a cocoon of you
to entwine with the threads
that hold you sane.
want nothing more than
to hiss and steam;
than to cool
in your stillness
redolent of broken-record risk-
taking chances until
there's nothing left
but scratches and
glitches in the wordwork
i mean woodwork,
i mean, skin.
but oh god, he loves you
just like this,
this is a choice:
you may destroy him,
extinguish his flames
and half-bury him in
the ashy remnants
of his own conflagration
but it's an impotent power
that is granted,
i'd haunt you if you'd like.my hands are paralyzed and you're waiting for me to touch your face,
but that doesn't really matter because i'd rather touch your soul
and if you close your eyes long enough i'll read you poetry as we lay atop the monkeybars
in this old and rusted park
you can pretend to know the constellations and point them out to me and i'll tell you they're all beautiful, but nothing compared to you
if i'm lucky you'll blush and laugh at me,
tell me i say the dumbest things but deep down it'll register in your soul just how much i love you
and i know they say you can only save yourself, but darling i swear if you'll just have the slightest bit of faith i'll save the fuck out of you or i'll destroy myself trying,
because i honestly can't think of any other purpose for my life
or what smidge of it i've been able to hold on to.